During a discussion of music the other day, someone says to me "You used to listen to all that heavy metal, and now you like Pavarotti. What gives?"

 

To understand what gives, you'd have to know what I like about metal.

 

First, it's loud. Not just high-decibel range loud, or rattle-out-your-gold-teeth loud. You can play Roger Miller's "King of the Road" loud and it's just being obnoxious, and loud R&B bass notes have nothing to offer but vibration, but loud metal comes with lyrics and instrumentals that can actually be heard. The neighbors might not like what you're blasting, but they cannot escape it.

 

That brings me to #2. It's offensive. Metal is all about sex, fun, and Satan. It's a fair bet that whoever is hearing you test your new sub-woofers is not in the mood to hear about the kind of things you find in metal albums. Good! To hell with them. They can suck it. That's what metal is about.

 

Most importantly, metal is music. No amount of banging on drums and screaming is going to make the music any better even if you can tolerate the worst of metal. Bands like Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Manowar, and a lot of cheesy hair bands meet the requisites for Loud and Obnoxious, but also add something unexpected: musical talent. Annoying people only goes so far toward making something appreciable, so having music that you appreciate for the skill required to produce it is important.

 

So why Pavarotti? Have I gotten too old to rock? No. On the contrary, I have learned the meaning of rocking.

 

Metal, old or new style, is just another genre of modern music. If you are heard listening to metal five times louder than any sane person would want to hear music played, the response is merely "Oh that guy likes metal." It doesn't scare anyone, it doesn't piss anyone off, and it barely annoys people anymore. If you don't want to do these things, you are not really into metal.

 

On the other hand, when people hear "Ah, mes amis!" (a famous opera tune) at its normal volume, they plug their ears and seek cover. Sure they might mistake Joan Sutherland's high-E for a problem with the brakes in your car, but it cannot simply be ignored. Classical opera can be really loud, and indeed it should be so. It's also fairly obnoxious in that the vast majority of the zombies who share our society (except a few of the retired ones) will have absolutely no idea what is being said. Unfortunately for them, there is no denying the skill involved in making such a damnable noise. No one hears songs like "Klange der Heimat" and fails to recognize talented composition, musicians, and singers. They might hate to hear it, but they can't honestly say it's bad.

 

Anyhow I want to suggest to all you who love the spirit of metal, but are finding your interest in its themes wane, seek out the classics. Rest assured there is plenty of sex, death, betrayal, evil, and bitter hopelessness in classical opera.